four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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