You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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