I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
