I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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