Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize