Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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