ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize