Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
