oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
