She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
