if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
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you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
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I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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