is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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