bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
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its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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