Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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