You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
