at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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