im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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