I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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