do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
