Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
