oh god the rape fog is back!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
