I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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