Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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