Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
