We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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