ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
