How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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