My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize