I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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