And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
All I want is dick and wine.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
