my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize