My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
