Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The air was thick with penises
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
