Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
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When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
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Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
wow bdsm is so cute
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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