I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
