dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
