I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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