my mouth tastes like poor choices
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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