I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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