Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
