Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
