dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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