Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i can't believe i had my finger in that
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Randomize
