p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
