omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
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so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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