my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
