Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize