what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
