I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
