her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I need a beard to bite.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
