When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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