DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
