I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
