jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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