yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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