Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
